A slightly different Friends policy

[mmcnealy]

Due to recent events in which it became somewhat clear that a person on my friends list either sent a synopsis of my friends-only posts or the text of the posts themselves to a third party who had no business seeing them, I have trimmed the list of people who have friends priviledges.

The list of people who currently are on the friends list are people I have either met in person or have developed a relationship with online. Please do not be offended if you aren't on this list, and feel free to unfriend me if you chose, I won't be offended. Really, I won't.

I will still post my research on this LJ in public posts, if you want to keep track of it and not have me as a friend, Bloglines is a great way to do it.

I have also changed the comment policy so that if you aren't on my friends list, the comment is screened until I unscreen it. This is in case of an unplesant occurance, which hasn't occurred, but it seemed a better way to handle comments that restricting them to friends only. I know that people enjoy the research posts and like to comment on them and I wanted to give people who weren't on my friends list the chance to do that, while limiting the impact of those with malicious intent.

I wish that I hadn't had to do this, but it was probably bound to happen sooner or later.

Comments

[merouda-true.livejournal.com]

Having had that same thing happen to me in the past, I know exactly how you feel. I'm sorry to see I'm not on your friends list but I understand that you must do what you feel you must do.

[mmcnealy.livejournal.com]

Thanks for being understanding. I may change my policy in the future, but for right now this is how things have to be.

[merouda-true.livejournal.com]

I myself have several filters. They work well enough for me that I can leave certain people I'm not sure of on my friends list. But they only see posts sent to all friends.

Have you considered a filter group? That might help you out some.

[mmcnealy.livejournal.com]

I plan to implement filters in the future, but not right today. I would have to go through and lock down all my old posts with the new filters and I'm not really feeling up to all of that right at the moment.

So for today its a trimming of the friends list and comtemplating what filters I'd actually use and catagories that people would fall into.

[merouda-true.livejournal.com]

heh. I recently did that myself. Which wasn't too bad because I've only been posting a few months. I can imagine you have a much larger job in front of you. And since then I've changed the categories here and there. More than once, as I figure it all out. ;-)

I'm truly sorry you were betrayed by a 'friend.' Here's to feeling better soon.

[chargirlgenius.livejournal.com]

Been there, and it sucks. Sorry you have to go through this.

Do you know for sure now that it was somebody on your f-list that leaked, and not some other way?

:-(

[mmcnealy.livejournal.com]

I have no definite proof, but that's what it looks like.

[katanubis.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry that this happened to you. How awful.

I know how betrayed a person can feel about that sort of thing as I've not only had it happen to me but to others as well. I understand why you've chosen to be more private.

[mmcnealy.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Part and parcel of the online experience I suppose.

[tonyadmay.livejournal.com]

You are absolutely being more than fair. I, for one, am quite content to hang around even if I only get to drool over your research.

Hang in there, and don't let this get you down - there are definately more important things in life. :)

[love3angle.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's darn rude. Sorry you have to do thisbut it's completely understandable.

[moira-ramsay.livejournal.com]

A. I am so sorry that you are driven to this decision. I admit that I have been seriously considering locking up my own stuff. But I am loathe to do that. I have come into contact with too many amazingly talented people. But I can completely understand why you must do this.

B. Thank you for keeping me. Your work is fascinating and impressive. I always learn something from your posts and I am always pleased to hear about your triumps.

[frualeydis.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry Marion, but I think your decision is very prudent.

Eva

[pandorasbox.livejournal.com]

Yep as you know about me loseing my job from n lj snitch... I can understand, we have your back sister

ewww

[barb-costuming.livejournal.com]

WOW! that sucks!

I guess my rule of thumb is if I wouldn't say it out loud to anyone then I won't type it online. And you've probably learned that one as well if you lost your job that way.

Re: ewww

[pandorasbox.livejournal.com]

Oh I didn't say it some one else said it in my journal. we both got fired

[twe.livejournal.com]

Oof. I'm sorry that happened to you.

[noxcat.livejournal.com]

I hope that whoever it was that broke the confidnece comes to see that their behavior was wrong.

[anjabeth.livejournal.com]

Man, I am so sorry to hear that this happened to you! I thought we left all this garbage behind in high school. You have many things that are much too important (like the baby), to waste your time with immature gits. I'm not sure if I'm friended or not, but if not, I understand. I am grateful for all of the costume research you share, both here and on the various yahoo groups we both belong to. Best of luck to you (and the hubby and baby), and don't let it affect your blood pressure (pre-eclampsia is a bad thing - I know).
*hugs*

[kampfrau.livejournal.com]

I am sorry that you have been used thusly. You have all my backing and support from the Midwest, for all that's worth.

[aclisto.livejournal.com]

That stinks but understandable. I'm sure I know how it came about. :)

[merastra.livejournal.com]

Oy! Sorry this is causing you grief.

Thanks for keeping the research public anyhow. Good luck for this all working out.

[gailsedotes.livejournal.com]

oh i am so sorry this is being so stressful right now! how horrible! *hugs*

[fiannaharpar.livejournal.com]

I'm disappointed to be cut from your flist, but understand the reasoning. I will enjoy reading about your research, but miss the bits about your life.

[mmcnealy.livejournal.com]

Thanks for understanding, once things settle down, I'll be implementing filters and adding people back. But I've got almost three years of posts to go through and needed to implement some damage control before things got too out of hand.

[barb-costuming.livejournal.com]

Marion, I'm sorry that it had to come to this for you but it came to that for me a couple of years ago with my private posts... hence the two lj's.

I hope I can be reconsidered for your friends list when the time comes... in the mean time good luck and healthy baby thoughts.

[silverstah.livejournal.com]

Thank you for keeping your research public - and I'm sorry that you've had to lock everything else up tight. Drama sucks. :(

[peronel.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry this has happened. I really hope my post mentioning livejournal (which I copied to your previous entry - haven't posted anything else about this issue anywhere)* wasn't an aggravating factor in you getting flack.

Best wishes,

Peronel


*Hope this is sufficiently vague - delete if it reveals more in public than you want.