The day before

[mmcnealy]

I still can't quite believe that Matt will be home tomorrow, it just seems so odd to think of it. I've been looking forward to it for ages, and tomorrow is the day. I feel kind of numb and in shock. Maybe I should eat something.

This whole weekend has been an emotional wringer, Friday was just about the worst emotional basket case day I've ever had. Saturday was slightly better, but only because I stayed home the whole day, supervised the landlord's as they replaced the washer, did laundry and devoured a good book.

Today I am just knocking around the house, waiting for it to be time to go to a meeting. Its like I am incapacitated to do anything except wait for the next thing to happen, handsewing, excercise, everything sounds unappetizing.

I hate waiting and ambiguity.

Comments

[jenlemus.livejournal.com]

I know exactly how you feel. Are you getting nervous yet? I always get butterflies in my stomach before I see him, the nervousness drives me crazy! You feel like you're having to hold your breath until then.

[mmcnealy.livejournal.com]

Nervous? Heck yah! Matt and I aren't arguing/fighting kind of people, but I've only run through all the potential arguements we could possibly have about 3 times over, reviewed all the issues that have ever caused problems, contemplated what would happen if Matt did X, which would cause me to do Y, which would cause massive blowup and me not to show up at the pier tomorrow. Fortunatly he didn't do X so I am going to the pier and am not upset with him.

I totally feel like I'm holding my breath, its like I can't get anything done, I'm in limbo just waiting for things to happen. I want tomorrow here now, and also never to arrive.

Actually, I am scared of how things will be, will we still *work* as a couple? Will the chemistry still be there?

[jenlemus.livejournal.com]

The chemistry will still be there. It will just take a couple days to feel normal around him again. Don't force it, I've tried it, it doesn't work.

[gailsedotes.livejournal.com]

so i guess we wont be hearing from you for a while! ;)

[mmcnealy.livejournal.com]

I don't intend to drop off the face of the earth and disapear from the ether. He will have to work 24 hours every 5 days, so expect an LJ update at least that often.

Besides, I have school that I have to do on the computer, so there's a reason for checking in. ;)

[linuxwitch.livejournal.com]

I feel for you Marion. I can actually sympathise with someone with a love far away now.

Smile; you'll see your love soon!

[mmcnealy.livejournal.com]

Thanks for understanding and support. It'll be your turn next for the butterflies. ;)

[linuxwitch.livejournal.com]

No kidding! Fortunately I have PLENTY to keep my mind off the "the day" for now. I managed to find half my kitchen...now to find the other half... ;)